Marriage Dreams or Demands and Expectations

Tuesday April 13, 2010

Oleg Popov, from Moscow, Russia, describes what happens in many marriages when each person has a “box of dreams” which turns into a “box of demands and expectations”. Two big “I’s” collide and what might happen is a divorce, which means that both partners are still carrying their boxes of demands, setting them up for a second failed marriage. In a marriage there is always a strong and a weaker person, so what might happen is that the strong person gets his or her way, and the other person is under constant pressure. A divorce may come after many years in the marriage, shocking the strong person, because he or she thought everything was okay. Another thing that might happen is that they try to compromise on everything. “You do your part, and I’ll do mine.” A marriage of compromise is one of contract, rather than covenant. Each person is not concerned about the other, but about the marriage. What is a gauge to know if yours is a marriage of compromise? A marriage of compromise has no romance. It’s like fulfilling an obligation. God wants us to remember that our mates do not owe us anything. How often do you thank each other? Do not use Bible verses like darts at your spouse, but submit to one another because God loves you. Your love for God can turn on your passion for your spouse, and your love for your spouse shows God’s love for both of you. Let God fill you with His unconditional love. Put Christ in the middle of your marriage, and God will give you grace. Pride causes resistance. (Eph. 5:21-25; I Peter 5:5,6)